it been 4mths..times fly
i was like a lost wanderin soul 4mths ago.
felt reli thankful tt god gave mi a grp of reli nice frens.
if not for them, i wldnt b able to recover well.

hereby i got to apologise..
i was kinda harsh to some back den.
i wasnt able to open myself up.
or rather i been shuttin myself up.

i m afraid to fall again.
the feelin of fallin is simply painful.
an undescrible pain tt is piercin thrg the heart.

though i chose to shut myself up ,but i do believe ter bound to b someone whu is able to open te door of mine.
n needless to sae this wil b one person i wil have absolute trust n faith in .


gg holidae with the special person in ur heart is definately sweet.
whn out to another unfamiliar place ... holdin the hand of ur love one is so heart-warmin.
nid not worri abt cold weather as he b ter to hug me to slp.
spendin the precious few daes tgt with no stress n worries..
all needed was to jus enjoy the company of each other...

audz dreamin?

makin the decision of takin a big step out is definately no ez...

a dream can b fulfilled..but aft fulfillin the dream..does it jus end ter....



an unexplainable TRUST N FAITH found .....


tears,
audz

Which one wld u wna give audz...?

[1] moon
[2] teddy
[3] flower
[4] balloons
[5] sweets
[6] ring
[7] rainbow


answer :

[1] moon - u care 4 me
[2] teddy - u like me
[3] flowers - u owaes miss me
[4] balloons - best frens
[5] sweets - frens
[6] ring - u wan mi to stay ard
[7] rainbow - u love me

i have done the test with a person.
results -- rainbow n teddy


smth stuntin happen ....

a person jus appear suddenly ... sayin got things wan sae. shock of my life.

in life ter are situation whereby i cant give in jus to please ppl.
ter is onli one audz.
i truely appreciate wad the person sae..he assuredme tt i wil sure to b well taken care ,well protected,pampered n love.
the person is so confident and serious whn sayin every single sentence..every word.


in fact it every ger wish to have someone ter for her.
a hand to hold on to assure u tt u are not alone walkin .
a hug whnever u are feelin sad or feelin sick.
a kiss on ur cheek to kiss u goodnight.
havin someone to go thrg all the beautiful moments.
havin someone to go thrg all the sorrows n hardship.

i feel so guilty..whn the person was tellin mi ...
my heart n soul wasnt listenin to tt person..
in fact, my mind was thinkin of another....
at tt veri moment... how i wish u wil jus appear n hug mi tight...







precious tears.... *cry* secure mi with ur heart...will u?

precious tears rollin dwn my cheek..




pain,
audz

eat...slp...eat...slp..
basically i m only doin this 2 thingy todae.
i failed to turn up for my match todae..
i m so sick...reli sick...
been coughin so badly...

tally played well ytd...
sorri last min smth on thus not able to watch.
congrats...first ever gold hardwork medal.


holidae...but i m stil sick..
stil havin breathin difficulty at times.
but dun care..i will b taken care of rite?
ops....

tis is the first time i m not ter whn they are back.
past is hurtin..
it all past...
thk soul mate for the tok ytd..
we got to move on...
we are strong soul mate..
though at times memories stil flashes back....

pain,
audz

the pain was like millions of needles piercin thrg my heart.
smth seem to b stuck..i wldnt breath properly.
i m strugglin to breath.
i tout so long as i eat properly..take my med on time..den i b at least gettin beta..
but...it doesnt seem to b the case.
wad is wrong..?
the last time i m feelin so terrible was whn my gastric gave mi problem.
i stil rmb,the pain last for daes.despite gg doc ,it doesnt get any beta.
in the end,i ended up in the hospital..n onli den it get beta.
it bcos ...at times ter will b certain thing whereby private clinic doc arent able to chk.
afterall private clinics arent as well equit as compared to hospital...
i m hopin for the pain in my heart to go awae..hopin for my breathin to get beta.
i dun wish to b in hospital.
i hate hospital.
it scary...

i m so sori kalong kia.i failed to turn up at skcc for bballin with u as i m reli not feelin well.
will make it up the next time oki.
i hope u do enjoy urself jus now.

fallin sick can b so helpless.
wanted to go bugis.wanted to go obar for laoda post bdae celebration.
but i see no strength in gettin up frm bed to do so.
i hate tis feelin.

i m reli silly..i was lyin dwn tis noonie...
i m feelin so weak.
n i was tinkin..wad if my heart-beat jus stop.
whu will actualli drop tears for audz.?
whu will actualli feel reli sad.?
whu will actualli rmb audz in his/her heart?
woo..it scary..i hav so mani ting yet to do..
suddenly i realised health is reli impt.
death is reli scary....



AN ENTRY OF NONSENSE......

had my lunchie.
taken my med.
hmm..hopefulli i b feelin beta ltr.

tonite..post celebration for hongming aka laoda bdae.
they b gg Obar.
roy was so funni..he send mi a msg tt goes....
[sweetie rest well..be well tmr nite oki..u are needed at Obar]
haa..m like the bdae ger sia...
i forsee that they wil make sure i drink..omg!

i have the sudden urge to taste yang rou tang...
mr tally sae ter is a stall near bukit timahtt sell yummy yang rou tang..
and tis was like sae to mi yrs ago,till todae i yet to taste it.
so mr tally sae he wil brin mi ter one of this dae..
i shall c whn huh...haaa....

hurt mi no more.get lost if u out to pull mi down.

thk u mr yap.so nice of him to offer me 6 VIP tix for a co-event by singtel n motorola.it is held in zouk. special guest,our dancin little diva...jolin. she reli got beautiful long shiny hair. her sexy dance reli caught all ppl eyes. she is reli stunnin.

haha weaklin aka yixiang....u missed our dancin diva jolin.serve u rite for not replyin my sms.haha....so pls stop grumbling can.

wah...i realised smth...i realised tt i haven been in touch with my once beloved. haha...mus b wonderin whu is it rite...alrite..none other den mr basketball. *lame* i reli haven been playin for so so long. a sport i used to love it so much..spendin at least 2 to 3 daes in a week on it. every mondae,thursdae n saturdae..without fail i will join all my beloved khakis at ytcc for bballin. they stil continue to b ter for ballin as usual..but i dun see myself gg ter anymore. can i sae tt the interest is no longer ter...no more passion. i reli duno...but jus dun feel the urge anymore. i reli misses the time in cg. everythin chnges. some stay..but some chose to go different path..but wadeva it is..the memories of chong ghee remains. all the fun we had..all the problems we face..the dinner after match..team mates meetin up for street ball..all this are wonderful memories tt will stay in my heart. chong ghee was my first bball club,or rather shen jun was the first..but actualli it the same team las.yrs passes,i went over to kaixuan,a team with mani jungang players,but eventualli i m stil back in chong ghee. i m glad tt at least i played the last competition for chong ghee as ter mite b possibility tt...chong ghee womens team will nv be heard anymore.

i swear i nv want to fall sick again. the feelin of sufferin alone is terrible. the headache is simply unbearable. i got no appetite to eat anythin. each time i eat,i wil have the feelin of wantin to vomit. wad worse is .. my chest feel so tight aft i eat.. wad is wrong?
for te past daes whereby i m alone feelin so terrible,how i wish n hope ter b someone to hug mi tight.
afterall i m stil a ger nxt door.

whu will b willin to b ter shld audz fall sick again... argh silly mi...

i nv had such terrible headache before..
anyone hav any idea how to ease off the pain...
i gg crazi soon..

sleepless nite all cos of the pain..
fallin aslp onli ard 6plus in the mornin but yet i m awake ard 10plus in the mornin.
not able to slp well..
argh...
everyone is slpin soundly...
the nite is so long n quiet...
the feelin is so lost....
i feel so empty suddenly...

wher is the missin pcs of puzzle for audz.?

finally..
for once....
i feel so helpless..
i feel so lost....

i wasnt able to slp ytd nite cos of the terrible headache.
the pain can simply kill.
for once,i wish i can have someone to hug mi reli tight.
silly rite...

mentally n physically tired can reli pull one person down.
i nid strength.

i wan go holidae..anyone willin to acc mi ...
any volunteer?
be it wher?
jus a holidae trip to get awae.

lonely audz

once again another of mine close fren is out of love.
i can reli feel the pain he is undergoin.
he is reli hurt.
i m seein all my close frens gettin hurt in relationship.
wad is wrong.?

wad is love?
pls...can anyone tell mi.

my fren was tellin mi abt how her workin life in a call center..
suddenli...it jus remind mi of my dear erzi..
it so fun workin tgt..we had laughter...
we laugh at customers..
we curse n swear idiot customers...
haaa....it so funni..
eh .... ERZI i miss u lots la....


u own mi a ride mr kel...
wahaha....i sound so demandin....
but dun care... ^_^

*strength*

rejections are best frens of a successful person...
learn to climb n stand up even stronger...
no one is a born failure..
ter is no failure unless u chose to give up...

love,
audz

cant imagine i m tokin to u like normal...
it so nice..
it a dae i dare not even dream abt..
it reli a gift frm heaven...
thks god...
my greatest motivation...
the strength n determination tt i lack in mi are finally found...
my hidden angel are found...jus as i expected... it u....

alrite...i sincerely pray...prayin hard..prayin for the best..
for my dear childhood fren melvin to stand up strong again..
he is hit reli hard..he is recoverin..
i believe u can do it...
ur granny b ter watchin n blessin u with the best of everythin....





i misses tis dear fren of mine....


love,
audz

audz in deep touts...

i wasted enugh time to slack..
it time to work hard..
no more of slackin...
time runnin short...

oh mr sim is so funni..
in fact he is forever so funni..
hmm..the load is off..i feel so good to b able to tok so freely to him..
whn was the last time i actualli chat on the phone with him?
haaa..tt was like so so mani years....
but eh..it reli nice to let go of the load in my heart n tok as a normal fren to him....
he is so hardworkin...it time i start doin thing...he shall b the one whu wil b motivatin mi...


it so unpredictable..a person can enter ur life with mani different roles.
at different time a different role mite play a great part.

years ago..someone enter my life n affected mi greatly...
or shld i sae it the turnin point of my life...
but this person left not long after...
n now...tis person once agn appear...
but it another different role...
n it another turnin pt in my life...
god created this person to b ter to b my motivator...a great angel in my life....
thks u....

love,
audrey

i m back...
it was a reli nice trip..
the food was wad i misses most..
ok i feel so fat now..diet time..KL food is reli too nice for mi to resist..
argh it sinful.....

alrite..whn i was ter...receive a sms frm mel..
reli sori to hear tt....
mel beloved granny left her beloved family on the 010706 mornin...
life is reli so fragile..
she is stil eatin her breakfast...but she left the veri nxt min....
it reli so so fragile...
aft readin the sms...
i reli see the need to treasure n cherish whueva u love...
cos anythin can jus happen the nxt min.
whu noes..i mite not wake up aft 2nite...
will all my frens b ter to walk the last journey with mi?
it so scary....
jus imagine...argh..
i had so mani things tt i yet to achieve..

do u have te courage to confess to whueva u love?
do u have te courage to go up n hold on to his/her hand?
do u have te courage to go up to him/her to sae..pls give mi a chance to tk care of u?
do u have te courage to go up to him/her to sae wadeva u wants to sae long ago yet u dare not..

pls do so..he/she mite jus leave anytime...
life is reli fragile....


i send 'someone' a msg jz before i depart for KL...
i rmb how i misses 'someone' whn i was awae te other time...
lalalalalala.....

* JUNE baby *

* Thinks far with vision
* Easily influenced by kindness
* Polite and soft-spoken
* Having lots of ideas
* Sensitive
* Active mind
* Hesitating
* Tends to delay
* Choosy and always wants the best
* Temperamental
* Funny and humorous
* Loves to joke
* Good debating skills
* Talkative
* Daydreamer
* Friendly
* Knows how to make friends
* Abiding
* Able to show character
* Easily hurt
* Prone to getting colds
* Loves to dress up
* Easily bored
* Fussy
* Seldom show emotions
* Takes time to recover when hurt
* Brand conscious
* Executive
* Stubborn
* Those who loves me are enemies
* Those who hates me are friends



* APRIL baby *

* Active and dynamic
* Decisive and hasteful but tends to regret
* Attractive and affectionate to oneself
* Strong mentality
* Loves attention
* Diplomatic
* Consoling
* Friendly and solves people's problems
* Brave and fearless
* Adventurous
* Loving and caring
* Suave and generous
* Emotional
* Revengeful
* Agressive
* Hasty
* Good memory
* Moving
* Motivate oneself and the others
* Sickness usually of the head and chest
* Easily get too jealous

allowin another person to walk into her life jus bcos bf is busi fightin for his career.
bf is fightin n workin so hard all bcos of wantin to give her a great life in the years ahead..
despite doin so much..it not bein ppreciated...
got betrayed...he trusted her so much..
believe every single word she sae.
but god know....tis actualli happened...

nvm..fren pls b strong...a beta one will b walkin into ur life....
make her regret...
fight towards our dream tgt oki...


leavin spore in less den 5hrs time.
a simple mitin up with dem reli make mi feel so good...
love them to the bits.....

oh ya..i got a future tense....
a new future tense phrase....
and tt is [ BAOBEI ]
wahahaha.....LOL......

poor mr lala lost his cell...
hmmm careless u....
so i bet u sure to forget my contact rite...
anyway pls dun b so careless anymore k...
hugs...