congrats to qianxi n home united mens team...the champ for 2006 7-11 cup challenge ....
both team out on a good fight ... great play .. thumbs up ...

thk for offerin the tix .. it reli veri nice n thoughtful of u ....
it been so long since i last seen thomas...
glad to c tt he is recoverin well...

din went dinner cos somehow certain factors are pullin mi back...

was dead bored for a period of time...
duno wad to do...alone at home..mama went for holidae..
thus hse seem so empty n quiet ....
thk for sms-in with audz...

no one able to forsee or predict wad will happen..
thus...nth can b done...
time is the best solution to it..
it seem near yet far...
if i were to comments i will sae...it not possible...i duno y..but i jus feel tis way...
unless miracle happens... .onli den can she b a blissful ger...smilin sweetly again...

went indoor after work ytd ... national team against lions frm bbaxn ..
slingers match after tt...slingers lost..in fact they lost they game to themself ... not to the opp.
thks for helpin mi to get tix..tout u wil call thus i din call u..

dinner at xin wang with aiai,laoda n roy ... they ordered all my fav...yet i can onli watch...had porridge...

cell batt was flat thus home sweet home ....

hate it when msn is down..i mean onli the one in my lappie n desktop...it sucks big...

a reli tired dae at work...
job hop? argh duno...feedbacks i got was throw the resignation letter asap...
alrite will tk the advice den...
a reli funni reply n methods frm a person...but it reli put on a smile on my face...

disappointment filled mi...tt expected...miracle?
no courage...no confident..n a simply impossible i reckon...
unless god is reli so nice to audz...
m i doin the rite ting? blessed mi well...

it a dae whereby 2 of my frens were enlisted....
mr colin ... the mr nice in my life ... pls tk great care ...
dar aka junlin ... the angel owaes b ter guidin mi in silence ... beta not fall sick .. endure thrg ...

the precious mr jake koh .. flyin off to brunei for field camp ... it monsoon season,thus the place b kinda wet n muddy ... it gotta b tough ...
i was like a naggy old lady ytd...kept remindin him to tk lots cr...dun fall sick...as this person have been fallin sick so often eversince he is enlisted...
wad make it worse is..he had to b oversea durin monsoon season..u gotta endure n pull thrg it mr koh ....reli sori for not able to see u off...will b here prayin for everythin to b fine n gg smoothly for u....b back in one pcs...as u stil owe mi smth...wahaha...

damn it...the msn at home simply nt workin..cldnt download another version oso..thus got to use the topid ebuddy...it god damn slow can...*curse n swear*
y mus it b down at tis point of time...argh...

was tokin to a fren ytd...
was tellin her to go for te love she wants.although i mite not b able to tell her wad the outcome wil be..but i noe she wil regret one dae if she doesnt try.sayin n advicin ppl owaes seem easy...i do noe..to put it into action it not easi...i do understand her fear...hmmmm..wadeva it is...nv hold any regrets in future...u mite not now..mayb ting mite reli turn out well...my dear fren...first understand the guy ..noe wad he is tinkin first...mayb onli den u decide wad u wan to do...be it walkin awae or gg for it....at times thing jus seem so near yet so far...


26th oct....
it was once a special dae .. a memorable dae ...
but it no longer anymore ... it jus gotta b another normal dae ...
things are gg fine ... i m standin up again...
enugh of tearin...
despite the pain n hurt havin to see everythin end...
the fact tt...the process for the heart to heal n recover is reli painful...
above all..the memories have made everythin worthwhile...
i reckon it nv fully heal but at least it no more filled with darkest...i do see light now...
at times we are reli left with no choice but to let go...
time heal all wounds....
it good to c both party doin great...haa...afterall wad matters is we stil maintain the frenship...



shld.i?,
audz

back in office..tired...
it irritatin..my desktop is down...now even my lappie oso...
my silly sister..duno wad she had done to the lappie..
i was stil lookin forward to log in msn ytd nite...whu noe...argh....

wasnt feelin well todae...
weather was bad...
flu...headache...
i cant wait for weekends to cum...
went for a meetin...tink my attitude sucks durin the meetin..
reli so guilty...argh...it so nice tt my boss doesnt blame mi..
he even ask if i wan go back to rest ... cos he can see tt i m feelin so sick...
wil b gg for a short oversea trip...it not a holidae trip..
it for work...i reckon i b so lonely ter...cos i m alone...
i hate loneliness ..yet i got to travel alone now...n it for work...
argh...

receive ur msg...pls do tk great cr...
dun over exert urself...dun worsen the injuries...
glad tt u are doin fine...



eyes.on.you
audrey

my dear kalai cut her hair short...rebond her hair...omg..i lost the crazi kalai ...omg...
haa..no la she stil look great...the khakis of mine be it wher...waha..

ger nite session ytd again....
pool..chattin...suppper...wooo....great...

oh best fren is so nice to treat mi to the concert...woo..
cool isnt it...thk u my bestie...

it so bored to stay home durin holidae...
waitin for time to pass....

i m a happi ger..i m smilin once again...
ur appearance have made the impossibe possible ...

i m simplyaudz..

ching ronglie...mr kopi .... qiannie... audz misses u....

misses.u
audz

finally the all matches ended...
i love the team...i love the gers...
the ktv-in session...the supper....the pool session...so on n on....
thk for the wonderful season...
i reckon we are all playin as a team....
great effort frm everyone....

reli got to thk kalai...bein the ever great team mates on court...
bein the great buddy off-court too....
not forgettin..joyce whu heart n soul with us ...may the cool lady...jo the funny woman....vannessa the pretty lady...lisa the wonderful mumi for the team...zhenfang the young n powerful centre...so on n on......all players are great n awesome...

both bbaxn all-star mens n womens team finish off the competition in the fourth placin....
great fight for the guys...though ref reli sucks big...but good fight ter...
YJ was reli awesome n cool....the way he penetrate in...wooo....
the rebound the frm nbr 7...it like wah....anyway everyone of them rawks......

happi bdae....my dearest angelina teo...
best wishes .... continue to rawks .. stay cool owaes ....
great pleasure havin u as sis tis lifetime...
i love u ....

audz is a blissful silly ger.....

time now .... 0530am

fever .. flu ...
the pain frm the chest....chest feelin so tight .... resultin breathin difficulty..
the feelin simply sucks...feelin so lost n helpless...
everyone slpin soundly... in the quiet nite...how i wish...u b here to hug mi tight...
went doc alone jus now...so much i wanted u to b ter ... so much i wanted u b here with mi for the nite...
but the useless mi dare not request for anything....reason bein...u had a long n tirin dae thus i dare not...though i reli wanted to..



the tears of pain ... seein u walkin awae ...

feelin reli unwell is alr a hell tortured...havin to strugglin with the pain n hurt seein u walkin awae simply torturin mi mentally n physically ....
slowly i realised the precious tears came lookin for mi again ...
promise myself ..tears no more ... but...eventually the useless mi lost the battle ....
seein mi tears hurts u deep....thus nv wil u wan mi to tears over pains n sorrows...n if i were to reli tears it have got to b tears of happiness .... [the promise stil valid?]

pamperd n love ... care n well protected ... [stil valid?]

the lousy mi...the useless mi ...
audz the sillyger ....
nt knowin how to express myself well thrg action resultin mi to hurt u...
but nv wil u noe how impt u are actualli despite the fact tt i suck at expressin myself well...



u were the reason for the smile on my face..thus it faded off as u walk awae....
u love the smile .. dun u? u love the cheerful n bubbly mi ..dun u....
but walkin awae meanin bringin all this awae ....

i pronounced dead as i see u walkin awae .....


dead,
audz the sillyger ...

trg was great ytd...nv failed to have fun with them ard...
the feelin of playin bball again was awesome...though i was pantin like hell intially...but it get beta whn i start to warm up....thus stil not bad...
went woodlands for a drink with fat mama,lai,may,jo....
ter endless of topics when gers get tgt...haa...tt how amazin gers can b....
nth but laughter throughout the convo....
match b at indoor todae...mi n lai reckon tt it a reli rare opportunity to play in ter...
jo n joyce not able to join us...it reli a pity..it b so much beta if they were to join us for the match ltr....

in the mid of the convo btw mi n lai...i happened to mention zhenfu...
n guess wad...so coincidence...i received his msg ....
alrite let mi introduce abit abt him..he is the pretty guy .... cos the impression he left in mi was...a guy with the complexion as though he had apply foundation...thus can u imagine how nice the complexion is....
alrite...dun praise him too much....he will go ya ya...
late chats with him...farnie n nonsense best describe him...haaa....

i been reli reli tired...wakin up earli to work...the amt of stress i got to handle n take durin work...tt enugh to kill mi....
recently the tout of colorin my hair is back...wad color shld i chose?
i wanted to go for big curl initially...but advices n feedbacks wasnt reli positive thus the tout was aborted...
shall see how it goes den....

wonder how is aiai injury?haven been chattin with him oso..argh....tk cr ...jiayou for all the matches...




[i thk the person for not blamin mi...the whole convo with him was reli great...despite the fact tt i disappoint him deeply..does he actualli hate mi for all the pains i inflicted in him all this while?will thing b back to how it used to b...?argh so mani question marks....]

i regreted eatin the topid jackfruit..n mind u...i din even chew it can...i simply swallowed it...sickenin...causin indigestion..argh...irritatin...

alrite...nth much chnges..sittin in front of my work station...typin this silly entry.. *grin*
i m bored la...i wna ice cream...ben n jerry...can i eat...i tink so..cos it nid not chew...it simply jus melt in the mouth...the tout of it make mi drool...*slurp*...
someone owe mi 2...cheers to tt person...waha....

mr ching aiai injured his leg...poor thing..it owaes so damn sway...injury durin the crucial period..hopefully it not serious...blessed him well..

i reckon...somehow i see myself slowly gettin awae frm bball...no more street bballin...how cum? n wad worse..the urge of mi wantin to play is no longer ter....i find no motivation...argh...smth i used to love so much...it bball which allow mi to mit the darlings n dearies in my life....

i wna go holidae with buibui n ppl...i wna go....i dun care...boss u beta approve my leave...it a must...i dun care...*unreasonable mi*

a series of msn-in with my dearie qiannie...hmmm sentosa on sat..provided audz got no match...
hmmm it reli been so long since i hang out with them le..
was tellin her i tout of gettin a nite job for part time...she kinda dun reli agree...cos it will make one age easily...hmmm shall reconsider again...see how it goes ba...

oh...i reckon i sort of misses bai jiarui...haaa..my pts...haha...wonder how she been...sure to have lots of new updates for mi..wahaa..daes at singtel simply rocks.....


a shot taken w/o mi knowin... by jake koh...

for the pass two dae..i m home..despite ter are progs linin up..but somehow i feel reluctant...all cos of the pain...argh....nvm..it nice to rest at home at times...wahaha...

i love my mumi so much...she nv failed to b so sweet...pamperin n showerin mi with the love no one ever done so...thk u mumi...mumi gg on a holidae trip again..or rather 2 trips...end oct n end nov...i wna tag along...but how is it possible..boss wil nv allow mi to tk so mani daes of leave....argh...it stil student life tt rawkx....

i owe someone an explaination...i was so reluctant to go cos i duno wht shld i b ter...i do care ...i do worri...but somehow..the kind of fear u once injected in mi shunned mi awae frm u...i noe i inflicted pain in u...pls forgive mi...i m reli in a dilemma of duno wad shld i do...i strugglin after hangin up the call with u tt dae...in te end...avoidin is stil the choice i made...i reckon all this time i hurt u reli deep...givin u nth but disappointment..so much i wanted to b like how we used to b..but somehow.....i oso duno how to put in words...despite all the disappointment n hurt i gave u times aft times...nv once had u reproached or ignored mi...the magnanimity in u causes mi to feel so lousy..so inferior... i feel so thkful yet sorri at the same time.... nv once had u leave mi alone whn i needed company...but the ungrateful mi owaes failed to b ter when u reli need mi.... *tears rollin as the words are bein type...*

hereby i wld like to sae a reli big thk u to sillyboi...thk for bein so patience...waitin for more den 2hrs in the dental clinic for my braces to b done...thk alot....reli appreciated tt....

congee,fresh milk,milo...these are the food which i can eat for now..the pain frm the braces is killin mi...it reli painful...argh...bear with it...

thks mummi for bein so sweet..cook mi congee earli in te mornin so tt i can eat it in the noon....
i jus love her...
thk sillyboi for the potatoes...

i wonder tk up another part time durin the weekend...haaa...

i wna go holidae..i wna go thailand for shoppin....

i missed the obar session ytd nite...the pain simply can kill mi thus i decided to stay home though i so much wanted to go...it been reli hell so since i party with qiannie n my 2 aiai ...

no workout or bballin for mi ... i m jus plain lazi..or can i sae i m tired..i duno..excuses la...i reckon i reli need to workout...i feel so fat now..argh..hate the feelin...

i owaes sae..love n accept mi for whu i am..
i realised...it a selfish tout of mine..
cos if i expect ppl to love n accept mi for whu i am...it actualli askin the person to accommodate to everythin of whu i am..the flaw n attitude which i possess...it unfair i suppose....thus no doubt u love n accept mi...tink on my part...i got to learn to giv n tk...compromise...nevertheless i stil got to thk u ....

the precious tt nv failed to understand mi ... mr j ... audz nid not utter a word ... yet u cld jus noe wad is wrong..wad she wans...readin my mind like a book...thks precious angel ....

26thoct...
frens enlistin...
frens gg outfield oversea...
used to b a significant date ....
wad is so great abt this date tt i been hearin ppls sayin...he/she have got wad on this date....
anyway..no point reminisce on the past...
audz let go of everythin..facin n walkin dwn another new path...a smile she lost...she is gettin it back....thk for all whu been here for mi...hugs...

12th oct 2006 ....
the big day for my dear mr sim ...
congrats .. n sincere blessin ..


the feelin no longer there ... it a reli carefree kind of feelin ....
nevertheless .... i stil got to sae a big thk u to him ...
the person whu taught mi lots of stuff n enlighten mi in his own way ...
the memories will jus stay thrg .. it a blessin which beyond words description ...
may the delicate frenship stay foreva ....


i reckon mani ppl were at zouk ytd...i was suppose to b ter ...yet somehow..i m jus too tired to b ter .. i cldnt imagine wad wil it b like if i were to b ter ...
wadeva ... in fact i shldnt b bothered so much .... i live the way i m ...
silly boi was ter too ...hmmm....
i misses the daes clubbin with mr ching .... when the next nite party ...
it seem like matches been tirin everyone out...

i duno...wad mus i sae in order to make u understand..
alrite den i shall sae no more ... if u reli care like u sae...den pls..spare a tout for mi...pressin n stressin mi wun do us any good ...it will onli make things worse ...
nv blame audz if she were to jus walk awae .... i m reli reli tired ... lost for words ...

audz ...

gastric pain..killin mi...argh...
thk mr kaixin for the lunchie...
reli nice seein u once again...
i cant wait for fri .... the nite out for gers...wooo...coool



everythin is so sweet n nice ...
the blissful audz ... thk you mr casanova ....

the blessin frm u ...

the attitude i protray ...

thks ....

ms sophina..i saw u...yes i saw u at sbc....my pretty babe...u din even sae a hi hur...*angry*
alrite ... it nice to c u smilin ... tk cr my ger ...

i reckon the sweetest relationship in one life is none other den the first love.
it mite not apply to all but as least it to mi.Simply so navie n innocent,thus made it so sweet n lovely.
I m reli glad to sae despite the chnges in the environment..chnges in the surroundin frens we have...we stil manage to keep in touch.
despite the fact tt i walk awae frm him without any reasons,leavin him with all the pains.He is stil here for me whenever i needed someone.
He actualli hold no grudges ,instead he forgiven mi magnanmiously.
He is jus so sweet..arent him? haaa...alrite...it reli touches my heart to noe tt i stil meant alot in ur heart though it alr been years since we parted.
THE ONE ... FIRST LOVE ....SWEETEST EVER


i misses chattin online with ching aiai till wee hours...argh...
i miss gg ytcc for bballin...
i miss late nite outin...
i misses so mani things la...

to mel : boi thing arent reli gg reli well on my side,but i tink i m copin well with all the shits...it so nice to c u here ...haa...so how's sch life...adaptin well...? copin well?

oh..my dearest buibui n ppl suggested gg gentin highland for a short holidae...i m so excited..cos i wanted to get awae for awhile too..hopefulli i m able to make it...i love them las....


nv do i wan to see u feelin upset.all i wan is to see u smile ever after.fulfilled the last promises u made to mi...which is to stay happi n cheerful.
it pains mi loads upon seein u lidat. be strong.u b fine.nth gotta pull u dwn so easily.


YOU..
stuck..not knowin wad to do..m i handlin things well...?m i?
i reli doubt so..pls allow mi to leave...pls....no point holdin mi back...i wun b hapi...u are nice n sweet...pls show all this to some others whu reli noe wad to do...i chose not to noe cos i dun wna any regrets...if u reli care for mi like u sae..den pls tink for mi...let mi go....sori...


tears,
audz

GOODBYE ...

i m strugglin to make a decision . it definately arent an easy decision . eventually,i chose to leave. it a painful decision though,but i've got no choice. u are reli nice n sweet,but we jus arent meant to b. the playful carefree character of urs causes mi to feel insecure n fear. i m reli sori. i got to learn to protect myself. time will ease off all the pains ... it jus tis short moments of pain. everythin b fine soon ... i reckon we mite not b even on tokin terms in future anymore,n if were to ask wil i ever regret makin tis decision to walk awae ... i wld sae i hold no regrets. i noe,if i were to allow thing to go on like this,eventualli i will see myself fallin for u.tis is wad i dun wish to c it happen. some made a good lover..and some made a good fren . u mite b a good lover to others but definately not to mi. i m sorri.
i owaes sae ... show mi tt u reli care n love if u sae i m the one ... action proves everythin ....
yup i din even gave a chance for anythin to b proven ... i left jus lidat ...
why? cos the person is u ... it too high a risk to tk ..
boy,it not tt u arent nice or wad so ever..the problems lies on mi...
i m stil lost .. yet to noe wad i reli wan .. thus walkin awae is the best solution for now ...


tk loads care ... all the best in wadeva u b doin ....
thks for all the wonderful moments ... all the sweetie thingy u done ...
goodbye sweetheart ... givin u the sincere blessin by the side ...
sorri for bein so selfish ....