this is going to be a rather long post. pardon me..

The zoo trip was cancelled due to the rain. Tham managed to wake up in the morning despite partying the previous night. I was all prepared and looking forward to the trip. It started to rain when tham was about to reach my house. Anyway, the trip was cancelled and we slacked the morning away with him busy on my lappie and i trying to rest. *smile ... we went chinatown for Dim Sum together with Roy and Qiang.


Afterwhich it Mr Lai birthday celebration at Grasx. I lied to Mr Lai that i wont be able to attend his celebration, but as planned i went down just when he is about to cut the cake.

the pressie ..
- happy birthday -
- birthday boy n me -
- birthday boy n bro -
- cutting cake -
- ivan made to drink the whole jug by straw -
- birthday boy singing -
- ivan n serene -
- birthday boy n cheeky weiming -

The whole group went over to Boat Quay while i went ahead to meet tham.

- 1408 - it was afterall a nice show. meeting up with tham after he knocked off around 2plus for the show. i was at Boat Quay with serene and people. Supper at Xin Wang as the show starts at 0340am. It was already morning when the show ended. I went to bed only around 11am and was awake around 2plus all thanks to Tham who claimed that it already 4pm. i realised that it only 2 plus when he ordered delivery for the Golded Pillow.
- while waiting for the food -
- the 'Golden Pillow' -

Tham went ahead with work while i went down for the alternation for my Levi's jeans. Meeting up with Serene and people for desert at Cine. Boat Quay again after that. - the card games -
- weiming n anthony -
- me n darling serene -
- serene n ah boy -
- mr lai n weiming -
- alan n gf eunice -
- jiahao n mr lai -
- weiming n me -
- me and jiahao -
- darl serene n me -
- me and anthony -
- wo yi wei wo men shi brother -

I saw my dearest aiai at boat quay. i misses aiai so much and it so nice to see him there. I saw Kang Wei as well. I saw dearest OH SHIFA there too, my brother who took care of me back in secondary school.

The weekend was again a tiring one. MR koh, please arrange the feast which you owe audrey.. haa, i been eating and eating lately. it all yummy food. cheers...

-i slept my whole of the sunday away. - boo

i really thank all those whom been my me all these while . the recovering period is still going smoothly all because of you people. hugs.

recuperating,
audz

sick, but somehow my appetite gets better when i am sick. damn lame right.

i hope i will get better tomorrow . i wanna enjoy my day at zoo. tham is sick but he is still going for drink later with his camp mates. you will get it should you not able to wake up tomorrow morning.

it time for me to be really discipline with what i am eating.

wee~ mj session with roy and people while waiting for tham to be back from drinking.

the thought of relationship...turn me off.. or perhaps i am just afraid of the feeling. falling in love is sweet but definitely not to me. the past is too cruel.

jay chou went for training today. haa... funny! you will be smiling from now mr jay look alike. S M I L E

i am seriously sick due to the hectic weekends.

tham is sick for the past few days. :( please get well soon.

i wonder how is roy dinner?

qiang is so lonely at home. please recover fast.

i misses playing bball with erzi, daughterly and group.

i am looking forward to my zoo trip.

dental appt this saturday.

poor yongzhong just finished his 16km walk. i am still sleeping soundly when i received his msg. haa poor thing. endure and it be over soon.

jake koh owes me a big feast.. slurp~

my life is beautiful ... you guys make it possible ...

all the late nights causes me to fall sick. been junking and eating without any workout. omg!


i apologised for not able to meet up with wenlong, yongzhong and ppl today for breakfast. outfield must be tiring, have more rest this weekend. as promise, we will meet up really soon.

tham is working this weekend again. i sleep my day through today, and by the time i am awake, tham is at work . so tink most probably is supper later. Omg! supper again.I reckon that if i go on with supper daily, i be a fatty soon. WHATEVER! haa..I am counting down the days.. zoo zoo zoo...


Eski Bar ....
tham ... thanks (my eyes is still red when taking this pic .. )
tham again ... and roy

Finally the outing with the girls... more than a decade of friendship..still counting...woohoo!

i enjoyed the dinner and the catching up seesion with them. i am happy for all my babes that each and everyone of them is so blissfully in love. congrat to yun who is the first among us to tie the knot first. it definitely sweet to be sitting together talking about the innocent past about ours back then. the feeling is just so so sweet. i am looking forward to the next session which is in another few days time.

the next meeting up will be in a week time. cool~ hugs

once again i am still praying hard for qiang to recover asap .. his presence is deeply missed...

someone told me - tears only for wonderful moments and lovely people. love yourself and pampered yourself. do you know that you been looking so weak and pale for the past year. it time to be the bubbly audrey again.

Past are meant to be forgotten. Promises are PROVEN to be broken. Living life to the fullest is what matters as life is still beautiful with lovely people who truely appreciate and love me.

i am glad peacock is not giving up on the game yet. the chat and listening ears is all worth it .. alright, perhaps i should say irregardless of what ears will still be there should you need. cheers ..

shall update again... S M I L E

deep cut;really hurt;fated. upon reading this, my heart shattered.
可能问题真的在于我吧。 我们之所以会以这样的方式收场，都是因为我的人性。无论如何，我还是非常感谢您这些日子对我的包容以合乎。至少我知道我曾被你宠爱过。答应我你会幸福，会一直得让那笑容在你脸上。 美丽的童话故事已画上了句号。thesillytheidiot
从没后悔选择爱你，唯一后悔的是不懂得去珍惜。
天下没有不散的宴席。

life still goes on. The earth is still rotating. The time is still ticking.

Life is still beautiful with lovely people around. Facing setbacks is inevitable in life, this is just part and parcel of life.

Misses my smile right? I just knew it, it so sweet to receive smses knowing that there are people who love my smile. someone told me that i am no longer the cheerful and bubbly audrey. perhaps it is the case, i dont know. anyway, all these while it really nice to have people around me pulling me up. i heart you people.

blogger still dont allow me to post pics. shit.

tham is ever so sweet. i am going to zoo soon..thank tham. heart!

i reckon that i will be puttin weight really soon. mr tommy had been getting me breakfast and lunch. i need not worry that if i were to go late for lunch and there wont be much food left. it appreciated. thank you.

huang zhiqiang , can you get well soon. life is so much lack of laughter without you around.

chong wenhao, wake up quick. the whole of class 4A1 is awaiting for you to wake up. i am praying hard for him to wake up. he injured during camp training and is now currently in coma. it been for days. will be visiting him again when zhaocheng having his off. god blessed.

jake koh will be delighted this weekend.. cause i am going to tell him something which he will be glad to hear.


love,
audz

i had a long night yesterday. i reached home around 11plus today after eating breakfast with tham. i head back home after i send him back as he had a little too much in pub with fatherly yesterday. we chatted quite abit during breakfast as he is so much sober compared to last night.

anyway i saw tan kwangwei at boatquay yesterday, it been hell long since i last seen him. he is my primary school mate. haa.. it so nice to see him though i did not get to really talk with him as i am kind of rushing as well.

congrats to qiang, he is being discharged. rest well and speedy recovery.

tham ... one person who never failed to be around during my darkest hours ...

just got back home not long. once again it almost daybreak. i went to visit qiang but without tham cause i overslept thus he go ahead first as he is working later. tham bought dinner for qiang, guess what qiang asked me to help him packet food as well. tham msg to ask if i have reach, he was stunt when i told him i need to go help qiang buy food. qiang can really eat. kangwei,ono,jie and roy were there when i reach. we chatted and soon after ah dong came. the ward is damn scary and errie, i would not have the courage to stay alone. we chatted and left around 1plus, i was supposed to go meet tham for supper after he knocked off, but ended up i went ahead to meet my colleagues.things happened for a reason. be it what, i love tham for always being around despite me being nonsense at times.

there were fireworks tonight, i did not witnessed it but i heard the sound of it when i am in the hospital.For the moment,i hope you are sharing the joy together with me. at least mentally. cheers. *smile and do stay happy

peacock is proud. haa

it not easy but i am adjusting and adapting it well. i know i am trying.

mr koh, you better not forget what you promise audrey today. you better not. haa

suddenly i feel that i misses both my aiai. haaa...

time for bed, i meeting tham later.. cannot overslept again.

i forget to say, i love xiaoyuan.




recuperating,
audz

once again its weekend. i used to love weekend like mad cause i can sleep till noon and spend the full 2 days with WB. alright, evenso i do hope WB spend his weekend or rather all his days happily.

i will be meeting up with tham later and go over to visit zhiqiang. tham sure to whack me up for being so dilly dally. haa... people who know me will know i can really sleep if i am really tired;WB will know best. *stop being emo.

mama be out of town for this week again. enjoy the trip my mama.


continue when i have the time ba...
always rmb the smile alright mr PWB.


recuperating,
audz

finally it got to be mark up with a full-stop.

alright,time to pack up all my feelings once again and go through all the process.i know i can do it cause i had all the lovely people around.

i have got loads of pic to upload but yet to be able to as all the pic is with tham.the night at eski was nice, thank for everything tham. infact thank you is no longer enough to tell tham how much i appreciate him, but i know he knew it better than anyone.

alright it morning now, i better go to bed as i still got to wake up later to meet tham.

i love jake koh and all the lovely wonderful people in ytcc.. my ytcc family.the gers in my life;poon,qian,lai,ju,daughterlys....etc. before i forget, my nosiy fatherly aka naigong.

the colleagues in office, thank you friendly giant, alvin, jimmy, ivy and tommy for all the care.

peacock can do freestyle. unbelievable right. haa .. it not shocking as i just happened to know one. he gotta kill me.


recuperating,
audz

look at the smile... i know i am safe with you around.

i reckon that i will fall sick should i still continue with all the late nights. evenso, i still went ahead just to numb myself,deceiving myself that i will not have wild thoughts. it just all assuming, so eventually i am sick. i am awake this morning, however i am just unable to find the strength to get myself outta the bed. it not because i am tired, i just felt so weak for that moment. the feeling is simply so helpless. i used to be so well pampered especially when i am sick, he be making sure that i am well taken care. alright,stop it audrey and stop being emo. life goes on.

i got so much things yet to be done,my room is in a mess now.where will i have the time to pack and tidy it, getting up early in the morning to work, reaching home in the wee hours and off to bed. so where will i ever find the time. yes, i chose to stay out late but all because i just hate to be home so early. my room is the place whereby it is filled with nothing but all memories and images of him.

it been awhile since i last seen him, how is everything? how is he coping with his studies, work and bball. is his interview for the commando successful? though i hope i be the first to share the news like how it used to be.be it what, he always had my blessing for everything.

i wanna witness how tattoo is being put. haa..FREESTYLE!


fallen,
audz

Loving you, I never had any regrets..
Leaving you is my greatest regret..
Lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling in my quiet room, tears rolling down the cheeks..
Is it because I still hope that you will come back?
It has come to a point of no return.. No turning back now.. and I know that pretty well..
Why do I cry that bitterly?
Is it because I still believe that you still love me?
The answer is clearer than the sky... yet i chose to deceive myself.
To love or not to.. To forget or not to..
I no longer able to set them apart..
What can I do to forget about those promises that had been made in the past..I don't know..
All I know is, I have walk to the part of the road where love ends.
Is this really the dead end of love?

memories flashes back upon reading back my past entries... life is wonderful with you...

fallen,
audz

i am i office today as early as 8plus. this is the first time ever, i reckon only one person will know that i had never been so early before. i woke up real early this morning to gombak for breakfast with tham as he is taking his TP at 7.40am. after breakfast, wish him luck and i am off to work. wonder how will the result be.

i managed to go to bed only around 4plus. i just not able to sleep despite the fact that i am on bed getting ready to sleep as early1plus. images and memories flashing the moment i closes my eyes. i wonder how is everything for you, i hope that you are taking care of yourself and having enough rest. dont fall sick boy. misunderstanding, all i asked for is a trust. i falled but all i want is you to be happy and nothing else matters. i am lying if i said i no longer misses you.

i had a good laugh and the tribute goes to THE RUSH HOUR 3. it is indeed a nice show. so much i hope you were watching with me. i shall upload some of the pics which was taken quite sometime ago and also some which was taken recently.

mr slack, good luck for your last paper today. Freestyle!


fallen,
audz

time seem to pass so slowly without his presence.

thank for all the time you guys had spend with me recently. i know that i had causes people around me to be worried. i am really grateful.


life without him seem empty. i just wna him to know that all i want is him to be smiling and happy. life is all about waiting. the mr png.

misunderstanding, i dont know what is happening. all i asked for is you to be happy. please promise to stay happy and cheerful like u used to be and nothing elses matters.


take care,
audz

i was at suntec city for the 24hrs 3on3 from wed night to thur evening. i am not participating. i applied for leave the moment he asked me to as he will be participating. i went ahead to watch as i wanted to watch him play and hopefully able to get to talk to him. i am glad that at least he bothered to talk to me.i dont deny feeling painful seeing him with the girl,t is really painful.i dont know what to do, i lost the foucsed.i know i no longer meant as much or perhaps it the girl who stand in his heart now.i really hope for situation to turn better. i wish i could turn back time. i am contented to have breakfast with him. i misses the times together with him. he pacify me, pamered me care for me whenever am not feeling good.what impt is he made me feel love and important. i wish for all this to be back once again. i certainly hope he do understand what i am feeling. the pain is enough for me to tears from the heart.he hate to see me tears in front of him thus i control myself whenever i see him.however, i am not able to see him often unless there are competition gg on always. i had no confident that he be looking back. dinner with family yesterday, uncles and aunties were asking about him. i really at lost dont know what to say. hence, i just smile to them, saying that he got 3on3 thus cant have make it for the dinner.

i hope i still see him at queetown after work.
i hope i still have him to send me to work.
i hope i still have him to watch tv with me.
i hope i still have him to eat with me in late nights.
i hope to see my pictures in his poach.
i hope to celebrate all the occasion with him.
i hope to be the first and only one to go his relatives house during cny.
i hope i still able to see him the moment i am awake to greet him good morning.
i hope i still able to have him lying beside me chit chatting with me, making sure that i fall asleep first.
i hope i still have him to give me a warm hug when i am sick.
i hope i still have me to acc me to wherever i want to go.
i hope i still have him to pamper me like a princess.
i hope i still have him to tidy the house together.
i hope he will still bring me to all his matches and i will stay by the side of the court and support.
i hope i still have him with me to play ball tgt.
i hope i still able to go on more holiday trips with him.
i hope to hear him calling out 'ZHANG YILING'
i hope to hear him telling me i am his.
in short i hope to go through all eventful or uneventful things with him.

anyway i saw many familiar faces there. as usual 3on3 had always been a gathering for bballers. it really heart warming to see all of them. it sweet of them to be there when i needed company. i love the girls. not forgetting xiaoyuan who been really sweet to lend me her ear . it applies to all my daughterly as well.i love poon for sure. the whole place is so noisy all cause of naigong. he had nv failed to be the entertainer. i thanks all for putting on the smile on my face though it still tears in the heart. it all so much appreciated. congrats to all winning team. especially to him,despite being so tired,he manage to calm himself down and once he does that, he played beautiful basketball. i love to see him playing on court with the kind of look telling everyone that it not easy to stop him and ya nv ever think that it is easy to stop him on court. i thank my sister for being there as well.

i hope there nv a day where we need to bid goodbye. i hope all the promises and efforts still counts as it had all been so much appreciated my love. i hope fir the day the where you will hold me once again to come soon. i dont know if it very navie of me to think this way. i lost the focused and my path. i hope fpr your hand to pull me back.


love,
audz

jiayou and good luck my love... all the best for ur 3on3...

you have what it takes..... shoot ... penetrate ... defence .. you can do it...

i miss you.

loss for words.
though i cant turn back time,be it when, all i want is him to be happy.
i missed him.

proclaimed dead ....


the silly the idiot . ... deep misses ... do you?

the girl and the boy..

never assume that the boy know what you are thinking, expressed yourself and let him know what is on your mind. the girl had been assuming hence causing the boy to be really tired and exhausted. she thought the boy understand but actually he doesnt. it too late when the girl knew about it. she dont know what can she do.she hate herself for being so insensitive.

all the while, deep down her, she appreciated every little things the boy done for her. all the promises and things which the boy said to her, she remember it though she shows a cant be bothered attitude. she thought the boy know that he had been long been part of her.she is just that idiot not knowing how to sense everything. infact she cherish and treasure him in the heart.

now the boy is walking away, someone entered his life. the girl had always thought that irregardless of what happened this will never be the issue. however, she is terribly wrong. evenso, she can never blame the boy as it is her own doing which causes everything to turn out in this way.he is tired, but he still make the effort. the boy needed time to sort out his thoughts, as it no longer just involved only the 2 of them.

the cooling period is the path for the 2 to come to a fullstop. so much the girl dont want it to be in this way, she got no other alternative but to wait for the verdict. the girl would want the boy to know how appreciated she is all these while. when she wanted to tell him things which he had been asking all along, but he is too tired for it now. he had been giving and not receiving, now she wants him to know it time for him to receive but is it too late? all these months going through so much shits, will it be strong enough to overcome. she is sure but is he? she wanted him to know that she is still feeling the same way.
she can only hope for the best and prepared for the worse. she wanted him to know that the MAGIC WORD had been there always.

will everything be a happy ending? let the story continues.


i am searching for silly lost soul. can i still be there for his match? can i still see him at queentown station after work? can i still tidy the house with him? can i still go shopping with him?can i still be the princess in his heart? can i still call his name in full aloud? can i still hear him telling me his plan? can i still hear him asking if he is handsome? CAN I?

the answer is with him.

the temperature in office is as low as 16degree. everyone is shivering despite with the jacket on.i covered myself with shawl after wearing my jacket. i swear,it freezing. even the guys are complaining that it far too cold.

i was trying really hard to focus on my work. even warni commented that it so difficult to work when one is feeling cold. all of us are get hungry every now and then. i reckon it all due to the temperature, when one is feeling cold, one tend to get hungry easily. so needless to say, i am eating throughout the day with my table packed with tibits.

i will bring my socks along tomorrow to keep my feet warm. haa..

as usual i chose to run away from the reality. i cant handle the sudden drastic change hence i face it with the usual Audrey's way. i don't wish to elaborate too much on it, as even if i wish to , i dont even know where and how to start. the conclusion is i feel lousy.

i know i will see the smile on you again. i know the smile will be even sweeter.

irregardless of how patience the person is, there will never be one who can tolerate the unique sucky attitude of mine.

F U C K ...

i dont know how to pen everything down in words.