Love with no regrets. everyone yearn to be love and pamper. however, how many can actually be that bliss. no one will want to let go unless really left with no choice.

will i really have to reach this point?

argh.. i am fucking vexed now.

i didnt know that making a decision can be that struggling and difficult.


damn it.. just suck big time.

i wish i can smile radiantly still. i wish i can smile really from the heart.

I can no longer relate my feeling out in words. I am exhausted. I am running away from the reality. I am becoming like a coward. I lost the fighting spirit and strength. I need a kind soul to enlighten me.

Actually i know what i should do just that i've got no courage to put all into actions.

I really got to thank the nice people around me.

5 thing i want to do:

1) Back to party life
2)Back to hanging out with all those usual cliques
3) The mindset i used to have
4) Allow myself to be pampered and love all over again
5) Street balls sessions whenever i am free

most importantly of all, NOT TO BE AFFECTED anymore.

I need a brand new life.

Friday the 13 marks the start.

JIAYOU AUDREY TEO

Attended Chao Teck and Huiyun wedding dinner on friday night. Left early as hy got things on thus send me back first. Wasnt really feeling well so turned in kind of early. Went over apple shop on sat noon. Hy came in the evening, dinner then home. St James in the night with Qiang and group. Dearest tham went too, been so long since i last meet up with him. Saw many familiar faces, the feeling indeed heart warming. Hy and group went too. I left early as i drank abit too much. Wanted to go BQ with hy and group as mr lau was there too. However, hy and kel send me home first. I have forgotten when was the last time i drank and feeling so sucks after that. Still, the whole party was fun thus its all worthwhile. I reckon that they have fun over at BQ too as they went home only in the morning. I want more of such parties with the group, just like how i used to party with them. It will be complete if both my aiai went yesterday, not forgetting sun shihui.

Rest day on sunday.

Tomorrow evening will be for workout. Was browsing through my photos, seriously need to loss some weight. i am so meaty now. CNY is round the corner, i need to loss at least 4kg. JIAYOU... no more supper, no more junks. i need to be determine if i wanna be pretty and slim.

TRUST is important but it is never easy to build trust. I still believe that one character can never be change overnight.
So much i wanted to trust but some part of me just not willing to. There seem to be another voice telling me not to when each time i want to. Its a catch-22 situation. argh!!