i am again back to work, but i am still not well.
Visited the toilet at least 5 times. - diarrhoea -
argh! help please...

days back, i received a phone call from somone.
let name him L.
i was shocked when i saw L name appearing on my mobile.
i was asking myself, am i seeing the wrong thing.
i am just shocked, that all. No longer that excited feeling anymore as i have put it down long ago.
conversation with L throughout the whole journey to work.
i am glad that L is doing well and living good.
We chatted alot.
all in all, the call came unexpectedly but is definately a call i will love to pick up.
L, the person who changed my life, the turning point in my life.
hereby, my sincere blessing to L and all his love ones.

hy came over to look for me as i am really sick.
i really appreciate the effort.
i gave attitude.
i ignored him.
i pushed him away.
however, hy still kept his cool and pacify me.
i know i should be happy for he did not flare at me.
somehow the thought of those past, i just arent able to get myself not to react in sucha manners.
Forgive me? i know you certainly will.
perhaps it is just me, just myself that i cant forgive.
Sorry!

the ge-sha of hy which he claimed that it is worth all the pains and $. i differ to agree though.
however, this ge-sha cost him alot more than the actual cost of it. this ge-sha earns me a coach bag. he just insist that with or without this ge-sha my wishlists will still be fulfilled. ... (that's what he CLAIMED)

the early morning talk.
I reckon that i am rather harsh with words thus i am surprised that you are still able to tolerate and talk nicely. This is just so not you. I expect you to flare up but you did not. The anxiety in your eyes calm me down and slowly take away the anger in me, feeling disappointed though. Words said once again, this is gonna be the last time. I mean it, the last time. You asked why the changed in me, all i can say is, repeated acts from you causes the change.
Honestly, i am kinda shocked with the way you are this time round. The unexpected actually happen. Deep down, all i can and want to say is, thank you. I know i am still being pampered and love.
I wanna holiday too. HY promise me a holiday thus we are planning it now. :)
BIG THANK YOU for you never failed to fulfill my wishlists and shopping lists.

Darling be flying in less than 12hrs time. Have a wonderful and great trip. She be going taiwan with Wx and a jeanyip fren. Have lotsa fun for all of them. Rmb, dont bring the blurness of mine there with you hor. you know what i mean rite? lol...

Coming wed, Jiamei celebrating her birthday at Obar. Haven seen her more years, glad that i am not forgotten by her. I reckon that there will be many old friends from NBSS that day. Kinda looking forward to meeting all of them. Inform Jiamei that i will have to leave early as i need to wake up damn early the next day. WED, LADIES NIGHT.

omg.. lesson tmr will be lonely as darling be at taipei. I think i will fall asleep in class tmr as no darling there to talk rubbish with me. The journey back home tmr after lesson is what i dread most. If only HY still have his transport. boo...



Going for my next dental appointment soon. Blessed me!


小爱爱 coping well with work?
大爱爱 coping well with school work?

Never in my life have i ever come across someone as pretentious as this person. Upon learning what was done by this person, i am both shocked and loss for words. I thank god that our relationship are just acquaintance. i wont mention any names as i feel that to the very least, i should respect everyone who got involved in this. From this, i realised that one character is never able to change overnight.I am sorry to say that to have a pretentious person around is as though keeping a time-bomb by the side. You never know when will it explode and when you be reporting to the king of hell. My sincere blessing to all involved.

Trips and plans all called off as the unforeseen took place. I dont see the need of elaborating it thus dont come asking me as well. I am sure each and everyone understand the phrase,' there are certain things which is better to be left unsaid'.

Thankful words said earlier on from me. Although those words arent enough to express how grateful i am all these while but i know you can feel it without me having to say much.

Koh JunChang , where are you? I want beanie and egg tarts. I want movies.
I've got so much so much to grumble..

i feel like playing bball but i sucks now..
somehow, i misses watching tan practicing.

Tham birthday this month. counting down for him....haven seen him for ages...

oh, did i mentioned that kaixin went office to look for me the other day.
glad to see him after so long, not much changes in him.
well, he commented that i loss weight. needless to say, out to society to work indeed causes one to loss weight in a way or another.
Anyway, i gained back quite alot lately so think its time i start dieting before its too late.
furthermore, CNY is just round the corner.

Time for bed, good night to all.
no more waiting till wee hours for me.
i wonder is it good or bad. well...fate!


love,
audz

went dental yesterday, i swear it is a painful experience. for once, i feel so brave and courageous.
suppose to be on mc today but still i went back to work cause of the meeting. terrible feeling for i am having fever. never have i ever felt so cold sitting at my desk. appreciate and grateful to the colleagues in office for helping to cover my job today so as to allow me to end the day earlier and head back home to rest.

so much i wanted to join aiai out today but the pain and the fever dont allowed me to thus gave it a missed this time round. i swear i misses aiai loads.

limit reached with things repeating thus an unexpected demand made. however, to my surprise, he agreed with no hesitation.however, the feeling is completely different. more of fear and doubts filled which i think it shouldnt be the case. seeking for understanding as disappointment filled completely after all the repeated incidents which took place. from the bottom of the heart, please make it the last time once and for all.

uneasy feeling.
not able to adapt.
not walking the same path.
not heading towards the same directions.
all this resulted in making an unexpected demand.
for a moment, i question who am i?

giving up? yes it did cross my mind, but still, the will power is not strong enough to do so.
independent.
nonchalant.
the 2 key point i must know now.
wish me luck.