i tried to deceive myself. i thought i know what is going on.i thought i am handling it well. it just nothing but only thought. i find myself silly and behaving like a fool. i am just foolish enough to think that i am handling it well. the reality just proven me wrong. i tried telling myself that it just a phase i got to go through. however, i failed to do so . i am just too tired to walk on. i hate the emptiness whenever i am left at one corner not knowing what should i do. should i just walk away? should i just continue to stay there without knowing what will happen next. will i be smiling or tearing? will be be feeling like a blissful girl or a foolish silly idiot.

i just can be bothered anymore, i am just too tired to go on. i find no strength or courage when the thought of having the possibility of having to go through the whole process again. i no longer know how to handle disappointment. hence, running away might be the best way out. at least it wont hurt so much.


at the end of the day, i still love the darlings whom had always been around all these while....


audz.

i admit there are times when i really feel so much wanted to be in love again.the feeling of being pampered and love. -so sweet . having someone to be there when i am sick, when i am feeling down, when i am happy. to be simple, having someone to share all my feelings.isnt it sweet to have received sweet messages before ending the day. however, it is still just a thought. though feeling empty at times but the confident and strength just arent there. perhaps it just arent the right time yet. perhaps i just trust no one. guys can be a 100% mr nice when they wants u and turn away when they get tired of you. it just so scary.
life still go on be it what.

i choose to run away. perhaps it just time yet. but, i will reached out only if the right one appear .. if ONLY ..

i just wanna live my life to the fullest.
tears no more is all i wish for.
promises are meant to be broken.
i wanna meet no one now.

i hate the feeling now.
how did i landed up in such a state?
i got to go before it is too late to do so.


get.lost
audz

生日快乐！sun sihui .. 21st birthday. simple celebration at cine. be happy and may all wishes come true ....

perhaps i am just running away from reality ....

bball on friday ...



tiring day .. but i somehow do enjoyed myself ..

life can be that tiring to the extend whereby you will just feel like throwing everything aside and run away from it. i want back the life i used to lead. the crazy and carefree audrey. i need to find the way out. it really tiring to have to handle all this. at times i really long for the kind of love and care but once again the pain from it shut me out. when will i see myself walking out again?

at least i am happy today cause i meet up with aiai though it just for a short while.

not forgetting -tham- it like almost a month ....finally we meet up today... dinner ... walking around ... shopping at mustafa when everyone is asleep ... super late supper at henderson ... home sweet home ...

i am missing xiaoyuann and ppl ... katek...buibui...erzi....so on and on...

the road is getting darker ...

walking a path with no light ...






proclaimed dead...

work is never ending. work is tiring as usual but i reckon that jimmy and warni is really wonderful people.

alright, lets talk about my bball session after slacking for so long. finally i workout. mr koh, the feeling back to the court simply great. -thumbsup-
i did not get to play long as i reaches ytcc kind of late. dinner with the group at food court as usual. glad that gf went food court with me today. it been so long since we bball together.

i am looking forward to weekend as i can sleep my day through without any worries. i am just plain lazy.

i reckon that i am sharing the joy as well .

if i am able to finish my work on time, i will join yuann and ppl for bball. - if only - i am praying

once again - tham -

sick, and i seriously hate the feeling.

email sent but not received. it doesnt make sense and no explaination for it at all.anyway, eventually the email still reached mr tan. *relieved*
-smile-

i am meeting yong zhong tomorrow. finally POP! hopefully his check-up went well.

i want to play bball. i want to work out. when was the last time i actually sweat? putting on the extra kilos is what i hate most. i seriously need to shed the extra kilos away.

life been tiring and hectic, i want a get away. be it where. can someone bring me away from here, even if it just for a few days.

the feeling is sucky. no one knows how i feel, cause this is 'the secret' . what rubbish la!


my mood now: sucky

i couldnt make it on time for the match.. it alr an one-sided game when i reached. be it so, good play there mr tan .... dinner at mac before heading home ... the next match will be a tough one.

looking forward to the prog mr koh be planning..
the ever sweet gf i have, thank you...


the.secret,
audz

i have got no mood for anything. i slacked the weekend through without knowing what is the reasons behind it.

ABCDEFG - A Boy Can Do Everything For Gal ...


i am just not feeling too good yet i dont know why? perhaps .... WHATEVER ...

the reason ... yes i reckon its all origin from there ...


audz

不能说的秘密。。。每个人都有属于自己的秘密。我也不例外，可能这个秘密永远都不会有人会知道。这是一个不知从何时所开始的一个秘密。

i went to Q up for my recent love again;DONUTS
dinner at xin wang after work.
home sweet home.

i received yuann sms..immediately i smile cause i be meeting them tmr. the word 'finally'.
friendster msg. peiwen, my long lost pri mate. thanks for remembering me my dear friend. i look forward to meeting you again soon.

no sleeveless top for me for at least few weeks. my skin is peeling, and it is really terrible. i hate it. however, i still want to go sun-tanning. the contradicting me as usual.

14hrs of sleep. that's how sick the person is. do tk cr and blessing for the person speedy recovery. :)

- i want to be the one -
audz

SBC to watch match. he put on a good fight for the match. cheers.
but he is sick today. *weak* LOL ...

yeah i am meeting up with the girls tmr . loves

when was the last time i see THAM ? :(

audz

S M I L E ! am i on the right track ? the drastic change in life is never easy to adapt, but i am glad i am coping well with it. i find no strength to allow myself a chance to go through the process again. perhaps i am selfish.i cant think of any other ways but to shut myself up for the time. no one is to be blame but myself for being naive enough.

i cant wait for friday to come ...

no restrictions
no responsibilities
no commitments
no explaination for whatsoever
no worries to whom i hanging out with

FUCK OFF ...waste of my time ..