i was at suntec city for the 24hrs 3on3 from wed night to thur evening. i am not participating. i applied for leave the moment he asked me to as he will be participating. i went ahead to watch as i wanted to watch him play and hopefully able to get to talk to him. i am glad that at least he bothered to talk to me.i dont deny feeling painful seeing him with the girl,t is really painful.i dont know what to do, i lost the foucsed.i know i no longer meant as much or perhaps it the girl who stand in his heart now.i really hope for situation to turn better. i wish i could turn back time. i am contented to have breakfast with him. i misses the times together with him. he pacify me, pamered me care for me whenever am not feeling good.what impt is he made me feel love and important. i wish for all this to be back once again. i certainly hope he do understand what i am feeling. the pain is enough for me to tears from the heart.he hate to see me tears in front of him thus i control myself whenever i see him.however, i am not able to see him often unless there are competition gg on always. i had no confident that he be looking back. dinner with family yesterday, uncles and aunties were asking about him. i really at lost dont know what to say. hence, i just smile to them, saying that he got 3on3 thus cant have make it for the dinner.

i hope i still see him at queetown after work.
i hope i still have him to send me to work.
i hope i still have him to watch tv with me.
i hope i still have him to eat with me in late nights.
i hope to see my pictures in his poach.
i hope to celebrate all the occasion with him.
i hope to be the first and only one to go his relatives house during cny.
i hope i still able to see him the moment i am awake to greet him good morning.
i hope i still able to have him lying beside me chit chatting with me, making sure that i fall asleep first.
i hope i still have him to give me a warm hug when i am sick.
i hope i still have me to acc me to wherever i want to go.
i hope i still have him to pamper me like a princess.
i hope i still have him to tidy the house together.
i hope he will still bring me to all his matches and i will stay by the side of the court and support.
i hope i still have him with me to play ball tgt.
i hope i still able to go on more holiday trips with him.
i hope to hear him calling out 'ZHANG YILING'
i hope to hear him telling me i am his.
in short i hope to go through all eventful or uneventful things with him.

anyway i saw many familiar faces there. as usual 3on3 had always been a gathering for bballers. it really heart warming to see all of them. it sweet of them to be there when i needed company. i love the girls. not forgetting xiaoyuan who been really sweet to lend me her ear . it applies to all my daughterly as well.i love poon for sure. the whole place is so noisy all cause of naigong. he had nv failed to be the entertainer. i thanks all for putting on the smile on my face though it still tears in the heart. it all so much appreciated. congrats to all winning team. especially to him,despite being so tired,he manage to calm himself down and once he does that, he played beautiful basketball. i love to see him playing on court with the kind of look telling everyone that it not easy to stop him and ya nv ever think that it is easy to stop him on court. i thank my sister for being there as well.

i hope there nv a day where we need to bid goodbye. i hope all the promises and efforts still counts as it had all been so much appreciated my love. i hope fir the day the where you will hold me once again to come soon. i dont know if it very navie of me to think this way. i lost the focused and my path. i hope fpr your hand to pull me back.


love,
audz